It’s the end of spring break and the start of Spring. As I was walking to meet my professor, I saw tiny purple and white flowers peeking from the soil wetted by last night’s rain, as if to check if the climate’s right to unrevel their full coats of color to the dull MIT population. There’s a spring in every step I take as I walked towards his office, a smile broke from my lips spontaneously; I utter a ‘thank you Lord Father’ as I head to meet the professor and the collaborator for my research.
A few weeks back, Pastor Enoch preached on Exodus 14 where God led the Israelites away from Egypt. He did not take them through the shortest way where they will encounter other tribes that might attack and harm them, but instead took them via a long and most unbelievable route – through the Red Sea and the desert to reach the Promised Land. ‘God works in long and loopy ways’, Pastor said. We do not get our rewards laid right ahead of us because God knows we are not yet ready to accept the prize. That was the most memorable and encouraging sermon, because I was scheduled to meet Prof D about joining his lab the following Tuesday, and I prayed hard that that sermon was meant to tell me that after all the difficulties and failures in finding a lab, I am finally ready to receive some good news. God truly speaks to us individually even through sermons! Prof D found me a good fit for a project he has in mind for a graduate student, and he even has funds for the next five years sorted out for me! It was exciting just because my financial issues are solved, but Prof D does exciting and meaningful research (along the lines of HIV vaccines :)) and has collaborations with some muscles in the field.
Thinking back to the time when Prof C rejected me due to interest issues after telling me I’m a good candidate to join his lab, dc and I were worried sick about funding. For me, it was devastating that it was so difficult to find a lab and I could not understand why this opportunity was taken away when it was already so close to finalization. On retrospect, I could see why God broke my heart each time a prof told me he has no funds. He was really taking me through a long and tortuous route to find a supervisor who matched my interests, yet had a twist to the context that will give me an opportunity to explore a new area of biology and bioengineering. Sure it was painful when things were uncertain (I was very worried about being deported for not being able to pay my school fees!), but God had something so much better in stall for me!
dc said I’m really blessed because I am ‘simple-minded and faithful’. He’s right that God has been doting on me, though I wished I can declare that I deserve it because I’m faithful enough. He orchestrated my coming to know Him; He gave me a supportive husband who is faithful to both Him and me; He gave me good bosses in both Singapore and at Hopkins and wonderful colleagues that made working so fun; He gave me the courage to say ‘no’ to bureaucracy and helped me come to MIT with my husband though I experienced objection; now He gave me a reason to look forward to research everyday. A couple of days back I was reading 1 Peter 1 and it gave the most meaningful conclusion to my testimony:
“7These [trials] have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.”
I’d say I did not deserve all these blessings from God, but the Lord is really giving me and dc an appetizer to the even greater reward that He has planned for us, both in our mortal lives and our eternal lives. God has broken and humbled me many times through the recent past two years, but each time He lift me from the ashes of grief into His arms of comfort, I become more awed by his merciful grace and perfect life I have in heaven with him.
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